Tag: humor
Wendy’s Karate…
Do you get a discount when you order a Baconator then throw a spinning back kick? Well this middle aged Shaolin Monk disguised as a lobbyist decided to show all his styles at Wendy’s in Boston recently…..I think it was worth a free Frosty. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6uSZ583YMI] …
Mushrooms on the Common…
Hide your Doritos and Devil Dogs….the Freedom Rally is back on the Boston Common this weekend. It’s been quite a number of years since I have been to one of these.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3izW6JknsI]
The last one I went to I ended up working stage security for Sam Black Church and Letters to Cleo. I liked these gigs because it was a little extra beer money for the weekend and you got to see a show. Turned out to be an interesting day. I had some dude who decided to eat a bag of mushrooms essentially start acting like he was a bull about to charge me. He literally had fingers up next to his head like he had horns….kicking the dirt….dude was wacked out. So…I’m keeping him off my six….one eye on him…one on the crowd…he’s on the other side of the mosh pit. Then Sam Black Church starts a new song….it’s a face melter…the crowd starts to contract then swell….the pit goes nuts. Sure enough I lose tripping bull in the chaos. Lucky for me someone else spotted him and shouted. I turn around and see this asshole with his tie dye and dreads running full steam at me, still making horns with this “i’m tripping balls” look on his face. WTF right? I just wanted to hang out. Sooooo….I wait till the last second…..take a step to my left and leaned in with a straight right elbow. Now I aimed for him forehead, because it didn’t want to jack up his teeth or his nose….he was just having a screwy trip after all. It ended up looking more like a clothesline….and down does tripping bull. Well…tripping bull rolls over and takes off into the crowd again. About 4 minutes later….there goes homeboy again….this time he’s heading right for a mounted Boston cop.
People I couldn’t believe my friggin eyes. Anyway, raging bull ended up bouncing off the side of the horse and smacking his head off the cement walkway. The cop immediately jumps off the horse and punches the shit out this dude. Within minutes a gang of blue shows up…twist hippie boy into a pretzel and throw him in a paddy wagon…..game over.
So my fellow Dot Rats….if you decide to take the train down to Park Street this weekend….stay away from the shrooms….try and be safe….and have a good time. And for Christ’s sake….don’t go charging a f*cking horse.
Brian Sheehy is a beast…
This dude rolls so gangster I can’t stand it. He gets caught stealing 250K from his union…is setting up to plead guilty….shows up for work at the Wollaston T station like it’s business as usual…then more or less tells a Channel 5 reporter to f*ck …
Is this dude wrecked?
Dirty Sanchez here says he’s doing an ejuice review….ejuice is basically the liquid form of nicotine you would put into an E-Cigarette. I guess they come in many flavors and this one is Boston Cream Pie. But from the looks and sound of homeboy here….I …
The Red Sox trap…
I’m sitting here drinking my coffee on Morrissey listening to Bigg Dee….minding my biz…. then I’m hit with the smell of Molsen and gravy fries. Usually when other baseball fans walk through my neighborhood I’m obliged to talk sh*t…..in good fun of course…sometimes you strike up a good convo with some great people. But I have no ground to stand on…have the Red Sox have made me anti social? Maybe I could stand on my Patriots…but even then it’s overkill….especially with folks from Toronto.
Umm yeah…your CFL team sucks? Straight awkward right? I would bring up the Bruins but Canadian folks take hockey too seriously …. I just dont feel like throwing punches today. I could walk into Dunks and grab a chocolate stick….they make for great billyclubs. Then again I really don’t feel like spending the weekend in Nashua street dissecting the finer points of A/B with a donut to my fellow felons. That could really go 2 ways….either I’m one crazy honky or it ends up like the scene from Trading Places.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUvKIubY6OY]
Then there’s always Monday morning in Dot court.
“Mr Dot Rat…do you understand your being charged with beating a man with a donut?….How do you plead?”
Your honor….it’s not my fault.
“Well who’s fault is it Mr Dot Rat?”
I totally blame it on the Red Sox judge….and would like to enter an insanity plea.
Why does 2004 seem so far away? I went from one of the best sports years of my life to beating Toronto fans with donuts in just 8 years?
Something has to give…..but the view of the Herald machine is not so comforting.
Menino crushes it at the DNC…
Mumbles is just too friggin gangster…this dude has so much street cred that he can call the most iconic African American of all time by his nickname. What? Wait…who the fork is this “fellow America Martha Luther King Jr.”? I got mumbled again? WTF…. Big …
The husky section is ova theah!!
My how Southie has changed, some changes for the better, some changes…not so much. I think there’s more people from Connecticut and New Jersey living in Southie these days than Massachusetts people. It’s been a windfall for local businesses for sure. But I have to admit I miss hearing nothing but Boston accents while walking down Broadway…there was some charm to that. As a kid, I loved sitting behind Kelly’s Landing and fishing off the dock, the fish usually had tumors and 5 eyeballs but it was before the harbor cleanup and they were charming friggin fish, alright! Southie was always a destination, whether loading up my aunts station wagon for trips to Castle Island on hot summer days or my mother shouting “the husky section is ova theah!!” in the middle of Jones on Broadway.
I understand South Boston is prime real estate, and I can honestly say it’s never looked better. But the influx of money into the neighborhood has created some special dynamics . For instance, a friend who owns an ice cream truck told me that it costs about 6 to 8K for a permit to sell ice cream at the beaches over there. WTF is that? That’s like paying protection money. What if some kids wanted to sell ice cream down there to make a few extra bucks? Apparently the new residents eat some serious ice cream. If the state wants that much of a cut then is it possible to become a Southie Ice Cream mogul? Could Murph and Sully be the next Ben and Jerry?
I don’t know man, if some dude asked me for 8k to sell ice cream down at Tenean Beach I would probably swing at him….just saying.
Well anyway, enter Bill Gates and his crew who decided to go on a “Pub Crawl” through Southie recently. We used to call that “getting sh*tfaced” but I guess this is one of those changes in the culture of Southie you just have to live with. I still say getting sh*tfaced is more fun…but whatever.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5o4usjZfRU]
UFO over the Prudential…
You gotta love these vids. I’m not one of those people that doesn’t believe in life on other planets. If life could manifest itself here….it could certainly happen elsewhere. But why do people always pick a flying saucer or a grouping of lights? I mean …