Tag: humor
New Cool Rule…
If you’re a lottery buzzard….you are not allowed to hold up the line at a convenience store for 40 min while you waste your SSI check.
lot·tery buz·zard
noun ˈlä-tə-rē alsoˈlä-trē ˈbə-zərd
a : a vagabond typically found in the Dorchester neighborhood of Boston Massachusetts who’s time is spent playing the State Lottery to no avail.
Listen I understand the “rush” involved with gambling. It can be downright fun….but there are serious questions that need to be asked here. When was the last time the Massachusetts State Lottery Commission threw you a free Heineken? How about a free meal? Did they ever put you up in a nice hotel for a night as a way to say thanks? Exactly….. If you absolutely have to waste money….why not go to a casino? Why stand in line with your fanny pack full of losing tickets and ruin everyone’s morning by tying up a register for 40 minutes when you can lose in style? Maybe you just quit all together and save your disability check….just saying.
Just remember the following:
- You don’t have to smell like a you forgot to take your clothes out of the washing machine….four months ago.
- That loud, multicolored and obnoxious hairball you created called a keychain doesn’t really possess any powers in terms of good fortune or luck.
- I know you love your Kangaroo velcro tie sneakers that have holes in them because you bought them at Bradlees before they closed….but NWL sells them too. If you cut 4 scratch tickets out of your diet you can buy new ones.
- The people at Mass Health really despise when you eat suzy q’s and chase it with shitty coffee or soda….turns out it’s very expensive long term and you cut into their lottery earnings.
- Handicapped parking spots are for vehicles…not your double wide Hoveround.
- Keno is about as exciting as Saint Brendan’s on Sunday morning with a hangover.
- Your little crew of fellow buzzards down at the Tedeschi’s on Neponset Ave will not miss you….and neither will I.
- If you hit it big…..don’t collect welfare…. is no sexy!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTjEwuuBRBE]
The Ghetto Mix…
There are times in the hood when you may have a problem with insects. Maybe your neighbors don’t keep a tidy house or maybe it’s just you that’s the slob. The insects around Dorchester can be pretty gangster….. I mean just last week I saw …
Eire Pub Politics…
Ahh the good old Eire Pub. Always a hotbed for politics here in Dorchester. I would even go as far as saying it’s the epicenter of Boston in terms of politics. I have seen quite a few spirited debates over a pint of beer in …
What is Matt Damon’s secret?
I mean talk about crushing life…. You have millions of women who adore the ground you walk on…. you’re the original Jason Bourne and Will Hunting…..now your like “I’m bored, I think I will call up my buddy Brad Pitt and figure out how to go Benjamin Button on your asses cause that’s how I roll.”
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIQou7wUt_Q]
Hey Appleheads….Relax!
Where do people get the time to sit on a sidewalk for 2 days for a f*cking IPhone? Technology is a wonderful thing…don’t get this geek wrong …but it’s an IPhone. Even if these folks have jobs, why would they want to waste a day …
Massholes next week…
So Massholes premieres next week….I know…WTF took them so long….looks like even our people fall victim to West Coast time frames. Anyway…Paddy Quinn, Jimmy Ruggiero and Marguerite Insolia are super talented and I’m always cheering for local folks to make it big…..I mean everyone knows …
Scenes from Make it Nasty…
Well it’s been bounced around the media all week long….and here’s some footage from inside the mansion party in Milton. [youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FCxyF3B0vk] Looks like a good time….but where’s the love for the white boys? We totally could have brought this party to another level. We could …