For many of us Christmas is an amazing time of year. It’s a time to get together with family and friends, maybe smash a few drinks or regift that bread machine we will never use. I tend to get stressed because of the financials of …
Some of us can’t help but to feel shell shocked after the Christmas. Looking at your checking account and seeing the blood red -$52.16 is enough to drive most folks insane. We all have our ways of coping….most Dot Rats drink straight into New Years …
Christmas in Dorchester was always a special time for me. I have tons of great memories from over the years. Mom used to take us boys down to Bradlees on Morrissey Blvd to scope out the scene and find out what toys we wanted. She would literally fill up 2 or 3 shopping carts right in front of us and explain that she was putting all of it on layaway and “Santa would pick it up” before delivering it to our apartment on the top floor of the triple decker, which was up the street. This lasted about 2 or 3 years before I started asking too many questions. My brothers didn’t give 2 sh*ts because they were getting tons of presents. However, I was that kid who was into science, ripping apart my toys just to see how they worked was pretty common for me. So, I started developing the knack for being very analytical at a young age. I was the kid who asked the hard questions, and the layaway story was not cutting the mustard. My triple decker had a perfect landing zone for the sleigh but how did he get his fat ass into the apartment? We didn’t have a fireplace, so I asked my dad how he got in. He said he came through the stovepipe and out of the oven in the kitchen….I was shocked. A 300 pound man with a 54 inch waist plus 200 pounds of toys trying to get through a 6 inch sheet metal pipe = certain death. Who was I to question my parents though, they had never done me wrong.
Christmas eve comes and I hatch the plan. I set out on my mission to save Santa’s fat ass from his demise. I waited till my folks went to bed and set up camp in front of the stove. Laying on the brown and orange late 70’s linoleum was not ideal but that’s how a hero rolls. Needless to say but, I’m lucky if I lasted an hour before I passed out. When I woke in the morning to my parents laughing at me, I saw the cookies I set out on top of the stove were gone. My dad said Santa woke him up and he gave him a hand. I started firing questions at my dad about how Santa got down the pipe. The response was “shut your pie hole and go open your gifts”. My brothers were already tearing into their gifts but paused to shoot me the death stare. Nothing needed to be said….I understood from that point on to keep my mouth shut….the Christmas code of silence had been established. I never questioned Santa again, even after he got sh*tfaced and forgot to put my gifts under the tree. Turns out….Santa is Irish…..
Today’s global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary: The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out …
8. Kid’s letter to north pole comes back stamped, “Dream on, Joey!” 7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes 6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling. 5. By the time he gets to your house, all he …
– I want to wish Bobby V. the best of luck. I know that you used to manage the Mets and you think that dealing with the New York media will prepare you for Boston, HA HA HA. It’s real simple Bobby, all you have to do is win a world series, no pressure.
– I already have one of the best Christmas gifts, I get to watch the Celtics on X-mas day. Go C’s!!!
– As far as Rondo, I love the guy, but he just can’t shoot. The player they’re mentioning in the trade deal is Chris Paul. If you don’t already know, is THE premier point guard in the NBA. Forget Rondo, I’d trade my wife and mother to get Chris Paul. Just remember in Danny we trust.
– Tom Brady was named the AFC offensive player of the month. Try and tell us Dot Rats something we don’t already know. You don’t get three super bowl rings, and marry Giselle by just being average. If we lived in ancient Greece he would be the God of football, right up there with Zeus and Apollo.
– I LOVE the fact that the Bruins are kicking ASS! No sophomore slump here people. We actually have a legitamate chance of repeating. I know it’s still early, but it’s X-Mas you gotta wish for something.
– Speaking of the Holidays. Whatever you’re celebrating, just remember it’s NOT about spending a month’s salary on the new this or that. It’s about being with your loved one’s. Also, if you must have the new Ipad/ Kindle or your holidays will be ruined, remember their are a LOT of people who don’t have anything to give to there kids for the holidays. So go out spend like 10-20 dollars on toys and donate them to your local church or Salvation Army. It’s the right thing to do.
– Just remember folks the Superbowl is only 65 days away, where it looks like WE will be playing Green Bay, finally a chance to bitch slap the cheese heads for the ’96 Superbowl. Except this time we don’t have Bledsoe and Parcells. We’ll have Brady and Belichick.
– One last thing, 79 days until pitchers and catchers report, or as we say in Dorchester, Spring time.
Lincoln Chafee the Governor of Rhode Island has a 17 foot spruce put up in the rotunda of the State House. It’s all decked out with lights and ornaments. But he wants it to be called a “holiday tree” NOT a Christmas Tree. Really? Well I’ll …
Yeah I know it’s really Black Friday but I’m asking you all to make an effort to check your tags and try as hard as you can to buy products made in the USA. Keep in mind that most big box stores will not even carry American made products because they are not concerned with American jobs outside of their own companies. They are only concerned with pricing out competitors and their shareholders. So…most American products are forced into small specialty shops or on to web retailers.
So dotrat.com has found the secret weapon. The American Made app for your android or iPhone. This is one of those things I wish I had thought of first. To put this type of power into someone’s pocket is an incredible thing. The app gives you a HUGE list of American Made products from socks to socket sets.
These guys only have a few thousand downloads…as opposed to Angry Birds….which has a few million. That’s ass backwards to me….but it proves an example as to why our country is rotting to the core. Our priorities are completely screwed up. Buying American goods is way more important than using some foreign software to slingshot imaginary birds across a 2 inch screen.
So….tell your friends about this app….challenge people to buy American….and challenge retailers to carry American products. Putting your countrymen and women back to work is the best Christmas gift you can give!!
