Winter people observed…

Well, I figured it’s my turn to whine about the winter. Not that it’s really the weather… I am fully aware that I live in New England and sometimes mother nature kicks your ass if you live in these parts. The jet stream likes to hang around like some weird dude that shows up at your party uninvited. And weird dudes always seem to bring friends, in this case every f*cking storm that rolls into the lower 48.  Mrs. Collins at the Kenny School pretty much set all of this in stone back in 4th grade….so whining about weather just seems like a waste of oxygen.

It’s really the people who get on my nerves and it’s usually from a lack of common sense.

First on my list, and I’m going for the throat here – snow removal equipment operators. Thank god for you folks, I’m glad to see you making money this winter but, truck drivers need sleep and the DOT concurs – have a look over HERE . Not for nothing but it’s pretty noticeable by the way you drive that a good chunk of you are lacking sleep….I mean Stevie Wonder is like “WTF….really?”

Oh yeah, I can’t believe I have to even say this to you folks – GET OFF YOUR FORKIN CELL PHONES. Some of you are driving front end loaders with the capability to tear down small buildings, why would you ever be talking on a cell phone? I saw an operator whipping one of these around on Sunday while texting – YES – texting. Screw it, if we are going to set the bar so low why not put this kid in Southie….

 

Number 2 on the list are the folks who throw their snow in areas already shoveled by their neighbors. Don’t tell me there’s no place to put it, you’re just too lazy to walk the snow to a spot where it can be stored.  If you get caught, I can’t say I feel bad about the potential shovel over the head.

And last but not least, snow dicks. You know, those greedy snowblower owners that never help the neighbors.  They come out and remove 3 feet of snow from their property in less than 20 minutes then go back upstairs to smash beers and smokes while watching everyone else shovel. Listen, nobody is asking you to send their kids to college but, running the snowblower down the sidewalk to help your neighbors get started is just the right thing to do…and 9 times out of 10 they buy you beers for it.

It’s no wonder why monuments are erected (pun intended) in your honor!

 

 

 

 

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