Remember that scene from the movie ‘The Money Pit” when Tom Hanks loses his sh*t because he’s finally hit his breaking point?
Yup, that was me yesterday….laughing hysterically…..when I bought my final coffee from Dunkin Donuts.
It has reached a point with Dunks where their coffee barely resembles what it used to be. My old friend Brian likens the taste of their coffee to toilet water. At this point I can easily say 89% of the time I visit Dunks my order is either wrong, of poor quality or I get “creamed”. Getting creamed is top of the list, and I can only assume it’s just an easy way squeeze extra cash out of their coffee. Cream will always be cheaper than the second most traded commodity on the planet after all…..
Dunks does like to brand itself as more of a no frills working person’s cup O Joe. They even like to poke fun at those who choose Starbucks or a local shop which is ironic. How is it any less pretentious to wait for someone who orders a large cup of diabetes like this – “yeah ummm – let me git ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….an iced coconut mocha caramel swirl wit extra extra, whipped cream and two equals….yeah can you melt the sugar too?”
I am not even f*cking kidding here, that is a verbatim order from a man standing in front of me at Dunks a month back. So, in essence he ordered a liquefied mounds bar with caramel and whipped cream with a little artificial sweetener to fight off the diabetic shock.
There was no real coffee in the cup because dunks coffee and the weakest on the planet. You get whatever washes out of the filter for your caffeine buzz and that is it….which is why most people drink five of them a day.
With all this in mind I’ve made a promise to myself to not purchase any more Dunks coffee …. I will only purchase coffee from Starbucks or local small shops. If someone buys me one…fine…I will keep testing the brew. Some of you may think it’s small potatoes in the grand scheme but, consider this. If you spend just 5 dollars a day of coffee – that’s $1825.00 a year. It costs most people less to insure a car or take a trip to Vegas. If I’m spending roughly two grand a year on a product, I might as well spend it with a shop that takes pride in that product….just saying.
This should not be considered a complete disparagement of good folks that work at Dunks, I have met some great people working at their shops.
I’m just really tired of being this guy….