The Marylou’s Cruise…

So I walk into Marylou’s in Quincy for an iced coffee Sunday morning. Now plenty of us are familiar with their business model. The place is essentially a scaled back Hooters of coffee. And for full disclosure there is not a place on the planet that will sell me coffee because some chick in yoga pants and a pink shirt is serving it. I don’t have the IQ of a cabbage….my grammar and spelling might say otherwise…..but let your product do the talking. I’m not a fan of having a snicker bar at the bottom of my coffee either, Marylou’s does offer that but I like to taste my coffee and Marylou’s has a legit dark roast…and I’m a fan.

This is a busy morning, you got all the heavy hitters rolling in from Dot and Southie who are nursing hangovers. The Milton crowd is there slumming….seeing how the other half lives (relax Milton…I’m kidding), and you got the regulars from around Quincy. Sunday morning is not an ideal time to work for anyone, especially for a crew of girls who tend to their social lives on a Saturday night. But hey, the tips are probably worth waking up for. Anyway….I’m standing in line for a few minutes….the girls are moving the crowd along nicely….and then it appears to take my order.


An attractive girl by most standards…your typical size 0 with a personality to match her size number…in other words a straight rattlesnake .

As soon as she turned around the transaction started with a roll of her eyes. I love a good verbal joust and this girl was being a complete bitch to the previous customers so I crack a massive smile and say “How ahhh ya hun? Can I have a medium iced dahk roast regulah please?’. She looks at me like I have four heads…which I was totally expecting. “What do you mean by Dahk Roast?” Most of the friendlier girls would just serve me French roast or maybe an Italian roast but I was asking this girl to think on purpose because I knew she was sporting a massive hangover and I didn’t really like her attitude. I say “You know, I like a bold coffee, give me something I can chew on.” ….well this just confused the sh*t out of her. She looks at me with a dead straight face and says “You mean like coffee grinds?”. Have you ever laughed so hard you can feel your nostrils flaring? Matt knows what I’m talking about….

My buddy Kev is standing directly behind me and is completely on the same page. He leans in while I’m trying to control my laughter and says “Relax hun, kick off your hair and let your feet down”….she turns her head like the RCA dog.

Tears are rolling down my face and I can’t even speak I’m laughing so hard. Lindsey LoHand is visibly pissed at this point because the people in line behind me are starting to laugh too. Kev leans in again “Just give him French Roast.”

My point is simple, looks only get you so far in life. The sexiest people in the world are also some of the nicest.

Sure, nobody is going to be handing my chubby ass a pink Marylous shirt anytime soon (but I am a sexy beast in yoga pants…just sayin). But I always treat people with respect…unless of course the situation dictates otherwise. And man was this chick a dictator……

This is in no way a dig at Marylou’s as a whole or the tons of great women that work there. Besides, I don’t need a surprise in my coffee someday. Then I would have to get the PS Gourmet chicks involved and sh*t would get real in a hurry. 😉


4 thoughts on “The Marylou’s Cruise…”

  • I would love to get a chance to ask that girl out for a drink. Who knows she might have had a bad day.the girl i am talking about is the girl on the top of the page she is on the left. I HOPE YOUR NOT MARRIED OR HAVE A BOY FRIEND. My number is 857-222-3592

  • How is this different from the scorn and derision Starbucks “Baristas” aka counter help heap on those poor customers who are not tragically hip enough for them?

    • I think the trick with Starbucks is getting over the coffee language barrier. I still order a “large” on occasion because ‘Merica!

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